There’s rather a lot about educating that’s arduous to clarify. The exhaustion. Belittling therapy from mother and father and generally directors. The frustration of scholars forgetting one thing you’ve taught… and retaught. Simply how off-kilter pupil conduct can get the day earlier than a vacation break.
Fortunately, academics have discovered a technique to talk these huge, recurring emotions: by boiling them down into gleaming little nuggets of that means, then dusting them with a wholesome layer of humor.
We requested academics for the very best expressions they’d heard from their coworkers, and so they’re fairly genius in case you ask us. Many are expressions from Southern or Appalachian areas, others are translations from different international locations’ idioms, and others are wholly distinctive, however all of them had us rolling.
Expressions about conduct
“She’s slicker than snot on a doorknob!”
“They’re just like worms in hot ashes.”
“He went crazy as a sprayed roach.”
“Whew, that mom is a basket of cats.”
“These kids would complain if their ice cream was cold.”
“They’ve got constipation of the brain, and diarrhea of the mouth.”
“Sorry, I have pastry hands.” (“I’m clumsy.”)
“I’m busier than a one-armed paper-hanger with a seven-year itch.”
Feedback on intelligence
“If he had an idea it would die of loneliness.”
“Not the crispiest chip in the bag.”
“He’s as lost as an Easter egg.”
“Her elevator doesn’t go all the way up to the top.”
“If I had a brain, I’d take it out and play with it.” (“I don’t know what I was thinking.”)
“Sorry I can’t answer your call right now. I am currently engaged in the battle against ignorance.” —a division head’s voicemail message
Sayings to redirect college students
“No one ever died of writing.”
“You make a better door than a window.” (“Please sit down.”)
“It will feel better when it quits hurting.”
“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”
“You think I just fell off the turnip truck?” (“You think I was born yesterday?”)
“You’re on a shoogly peg.” (“This is your last warning.”)
Expressions about… farts
“You’re like a fart in a skillet!” (“You’re having trouble sitting still.”)
“We need to be quieter than a mouse fart.”
“The admin building has the collective intelligence of a month-old oyster fart.”
“Making this schedule is like looking for a ghost fart.”
“I’m as lost as a fart in the wind.”
“Drier than a popcorn fart.”
Climate experiences
“It’s blowin’ a hoolie!” (From the Scottish word “hoolan” for “strong gale”)
“Looking like a real toad-strangler.” (“It’s raining hard.”)
“It’s hotter than a shearer’s armpit.”
Methods to speak emotions
“I’m finer than froghair cut up 4 methods.
“Happier than a dog chewing on a catfish head.”
“Sadder than a sandwich.”
It’s value mentioning that the academics who weighed in with these expressions usually included tales or feedback about how beloved the coworker was or is to them and their college students. Clearly these expressions have been used to lighten the temper and make individuals snicker; not humiliate or embarrass. Nonetheless, except you’re in a area that makes use of them in on a regular basis vernacular, proceed with discretion! (Particularly evaluating your superiors to a month-old oyster fart.)